Covid Humbled & Inspired Me

Jul 21

We were instructed not to return to Georgia Southern after Spring Break. Numerous emails were sent out informing all of the Students and Faculty members that classes would resume using our online instruction portal (Folio) one week after the ending of Spring Break. It is my understanding that the decision was made considering the hundreds of places Students and Faculty members would go during break, that there was an extremely high-risk for bringing the virus back to the campus and surrounding areas.

My husband and I spent Spring Break in Jacksonville, FL with my Father. After He left, I relocated to Columbia, SC to be with my mom since it was deemed unsafe to fly. And, because I also had no idea what this experience would bring, I figured it would be wise to stay close to the University. That extra week after Spring Break gave everyone a chance to attempt to “get settled” and prepare for what was coming. The new expectations of all of the Students would be to learn, test, and keep up with our full time schedule online. I was kind of excited for yet another new experience, but I was quickly humbled.

All of my instructors and professors sent out surveys asking about the capabilities we had access to at our new locations. The questions included ones like “Do you have access to a laptop or desktop?”, “Do you have access to Wi-Fi?”, “Would you be able to meet via zoom or Google hangouts during our regular class time?” I answered yes to all of those questions. A wave of sorrow came over me immediately. I asked myself “But, what about people who said no to any of the questions listed? What would the students do that relied on the 24 hour library computer access? What about the ones that returned home and had to find a job to support their families, which in-turn prevented them from meeting during our regular class meeting times? How would they continue their education precisely?

Every single student struggled in some way at some point within the semester of Spring 2020 because of COVID-19. I believe the only way that I made it through was the support of my family, my caring and understanding Professors, and my continued discipline. Without one of the three, I would not have made it through. I’m beyond proud to say that I was able to maintain my 4.0 GPA.

A few months later after things began to open back up, to add a little humor to a stressful situation, I’d asked my Father “If COVID was a food, what would it be?” He put his hand on his chin and began to think; I was expecting him to say something like boiled pig feet or okra. Anticipating his response, I was prepared to laugh a good laugh. He replies with “Hmm, I don’t know. I mean, we aren’t sick, we have a decent savings, we are still getting payed….” There was nothing I could say…

The spring season of 2020 was one that will surely go down in American history. The handling of COVID-19 and the large and growing presence of the BLM (Black Lives Matter) movement sparked by the murder of George Floyd by former police officer Derek Chauvin in Minneapolis. It is completely surreal that I am living through times like this. I considered myself aware before all of this happened, but now I find myself to be the type of conscious James Baldwin referred to when asked about being Black in America. That realization paired with my triumphs of another successful college semester caused my love for writing to resurface. So, I wrote a few short essays, but that wasn’t fulfilling enough; I wanted them to be seen by the world. At this point, it had been about three years since I had been trying to determine how I would begin to fulfill my purpose. What route would I take to start? For years before now, I always told myself “I can wait until I retire from the Army, I’ll still be young.” It came so abruptly to me one morning that I needed to now; I need to start building now.

Born was my website iamjazminerenae.com. I did a ton of research and saw so many patterns of people doing the same thing (e.g. lifestyle). If i’m honest, a wave of slight discouragement came over me. What if people don’t like what I have to say? What is people don’ like my style? But I had to keep in mind the special twist that I personally could give to the audience that I attracted would be extraordinary; it would be different than others. I knew that my passions were important to amplify: empowerment of Women, intentional living, and creative style (and squeeze in a little Black history where I could). So, I did.